


Nothing Beats a Home-Cooked Meal

by charmingStrangeness



Series: Sakamoto Week 2017 [3]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Food, Gen, sakamoto week 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-16 23:35:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11263350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charmingStrangeness/pseuds/charmingStrangeness
Summary: A week's worth of (experimental) dinners aboard the Kairinmaru.Written forSakamoto Week 2017Day 3 - Granny's Cooking





	Nothing Beats a Home-Cooked Meal

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this one as a string of seven 100-word drabbles, one for each day of the week.

As per usual, Tatsuma enters the cafeteria with a smile and, glancing at the weekly menu board, notes that it’s blank.

“Hey Granny,” he calls, grabbing a tray at the serving area. “What’s with this week’s menu?” 

The old woman chuckles as she spoons long, thin noodles onto a plate and covers them in sauce. “I’m trying out recipes from other places this week.”  

“Spaghetti’s not very exotic,” Tatsuma laughs.

She passes the plate over the counter to Tatsuma and winks. “I’m easing into the week gently. Don’t worry, I’ve got some exciting meals planned!” 

“I’ll look forward to it!” 

 

* * *

 

“So what’s tonight’s more-exotic-than-spaghetti dish?” Tatsuma leans on the counter in anticipation.

“You tell me!” She passes him his plate, which is holding a grilled meat patty on an open bun and a side of fries.

“Hamburgers, Granny? Aren’t you easing into things a bit slow?” 

“Don’t judge a book by it’s cover,” she admonishes. “Condiments are down on the end.” 

Tatsuma slides his tray down the bar to find a completely unrecognizable set of sauces waiting for him. He looks back at Granny in surprise, and she grins.

“Not Earth hamburgers, boy! Those are Peleos burgers from Planet Geminus!” 

 

* * *

 

Tatsuma is prepared for more tricks, but tonight he’s greeted with a meal that’s _definitely_  not from Earth – a thick, saucy concoction that's a dark plum-purple in colour, swirling with crimson streaks.

Granny provides the answer to his question before he can even ask it – “It’s a delicacy from the Archimedes star system, similar to Earth curry.” 

Surprisingly, it actually does taste similar to curry; there’s a deep earthiness to it, and a spicy sweetness that lingers after he swallows.

“Add this to the permanent rotation,” Tatsuma says when he drops off his empty plate, and Granny smiles.

 

* * *

 

Granny plops a scoop of some kind of lime green, jelly-looking substance in a bowl and passes it across the counter. 

“Is… that it?” Tatsuma raises an eyebrow.  

“It's a culinary staple from Planet Altea,” Granny lectures. “It has all the nutrients you’ll need by itself.” 

“Fair enough.”  

It doesn’t have any odour, and when Tatsuma spoons some into his mouth, it doesn’t taste like anything in particular, either. It’s neither warm nor cold, and goes down smooth when he swallows… 

Until suddenly his stomach lurches, and Tatsuma makes a mental note to veto Altean food goo from now on.

 

* * *

 

As if yesterday’s weird goop wasn’t bad enough, tonight’s meal looks even more unpleasant. Even though stew is technically just a mishmash of vaguely palatable chunks embedded in a thick sludge, this stew is really pushing the limits of what’s edible.

Tatsuma counts at least three eyes staring up at him from his bowl, not to mention those dubious-looking tentacles, and the colour that’s two shades of green away from vomit… He tries not to think about it too hard and, grimacing, takes a bite.

It’s… surprisingly delicious? Tatsuma’s jaw drops.

Across the cafeteria, Granny meets his eye and winks.

 

* * *

 

Feeling that enjoying yesterday’s Cthulu-looking stew means he can eat just about anything, Tatsuma enters the cafeteria hoping that Granny will have cooked up something even crazier, just so he can consume it fearlessly.

Reality doesn’t disappoint; tonight’s meal is a full roast animal that looks suspiciously like an Earth alligator, if Earth alligators had six legs and one giant eye in the centre of their foreheads.

“Borolis swamp stalker,” she says, carving off a slice.

Sadly, the meat is tough and chewy in the worst possible way, although the garlic mashed potatoes served with it are particularly delicious, at least.

 

* * *

 

“So, what did you think?” 

Tatsuma piles four slices of pizza onto his plate (it looks like Granny is easing out of the week the same way she eased into it).

“Hmm… well there were a couple of misses, but for the most part I was definitely sold!” Tatsuma laughs.

“Tomorrow, it’ll be back to standard traditional food,” Granny cautions. “Well. More or less standard. Maybe with a little twist, now and then.” 

He bites into the pizza, and immediately notices that she’s used the Archimedes curry instead of tomato sauce.

_Of course she did._

“I’m already looking forward to it!” 

**Author's Note:**

> ~~/drops an unsubtle voltron reference bc i couldnt resist~~
> 
> Questions/thoughts? Comment below or visit me on tumblr @ [charmingstrangeness](http://charmingstrangeness.tumblr.com)
> 
> I'll be back tomorrow for Day 4!


End file.
